


beauty

by panlesters



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, M/M, Reminiscing, Romance, it's just fluff idk, japhan 2.0
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 08:10:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21424990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panlesters/pseuds/panlesters
Summary: maybe there's something special about ferris wheels.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 127





	beauty

**Author's Note:**

> look. people be out here talking about cute shit. im just the messenger. big shoutout to the gc yall are my inspiration right now.   
enjoy!

It must be fate, Phil thinks as he stands beside Dan in the queue. How did they manage to find somewhere with a Ferris wheel for their tenth anniversary? The universe must really be on their side for this trip.

There’s something so soft about seeing Dan in another queue to another Ferris wheel, ten years later. Gone is the long, straight hair. Gone is the shy, lanky boy he met. Well, maybe not gone. Grown. He’s tall now, more confident, a little squishier. Phil adores this man. He never thought he’d find the one.

He remembers back when they first started talking, when he was surprised that this cute guy was even looking at him. He remembers the quiet, 2am calls he had with Anja about how cute he was, when he was sure everyone else was asleep in the house and he could talk about the cute boy he fancied without worrying about accidentally outing himself.

It was so stupid, the way they used to sneak around. Then, one morning, Kath poked her head round his bedroom door to find Phil scrolling through his phone while Dan slept on his shoulder, one of Phil’s hands in his hair absentmindedly carding his fingers through it. It was fucking terrifying when she’d whispered his name and then watched the catastrophe unfold. Phil had jumped nearly three feet into the air, thrown his phone and yelped so loudly Dan woke up and had a similar reaction.

Sitting in Phil’s room, sharing worried looks, whispering about whether they should leave the room and face the music, when Kath called them down for breakfast. She made them each a mug of coffee, and acted as if nothing was different, except that Dan was suddenly her son too. Phil remembers how grateful Dan was to Kath. How she’d drawn him into a hug before they left for the train station, whispered some words of comfort into his ear. Phil remembers how Dan had waited until they left the house before he threw his arms around Phil and burst into tears. He’d been so, _so _scared, and all it took was a few words of comfort from Kath for him to feel more accepted than he’d ever thought possible.

Getting into the carriage doesn’t give Phil the same deja vu as he expected. It’s not glass-encased like the Manchester Eye. It’s when the carriage starts moving that Phil is thrown back to 2009. Dan looking around him in wonder as they begin their ascent. He thinks about how the tables have finally turned, and leans across to wrap a hand round the back of Dan’s neck and pill him in for a surprise peck on the lips. Dan is grinning when he pulls away, laughing and rolling his eyes a little.

“It was my turn,” Phil shrugs.

There’s something about being in Japan that Phil just _loves_. And it’s not the culture. Or, it _is_. But it’s a different kind of love. No one knows them here, and if he wants to get closer to Dan on a Ferris wheel, he can do that. Hell, he can go crazy and wrap an arm round his waist if he really wants. And he _does_ really want. So he does. The look Dan gives him is _so _worth it. His expression goes from confusion to shock to what Phil can only describe as _smitten_, and he melts. He feels lightheaded and he thinks they’re high enough now for him to blame it on the air pressure. Not that anyone’s asking. Maybe he just has to justify to himself how one look from the love of his life still makes him feel dizzy, ten years later.

They get to the top, and it’s breath-taking. Phil hears Dan huff a laugh next to him.

“It’s a bit prettier than Manchester, I think,” he says.

He’s right, but Phil can’t help thinking about how beautiful that city was _to them_. It was full of firsts. First kisses, first _I love you_s. He remembers the first _I love you_. Seeing Dan with a massive fluffy hat on his head, mittens making his hands cosy and a little clumsy. Red nose, red cheeks. He remembers Dan’s laugh, an offhand “I love you” before Dan realised what he’d said, and a hand shot over his mouth. Phil had been quick to replace that hand with his own lips. There had been so many more “I love you”s that night, whispered between kisses in the dark, on the platform before Dan left to go home. A million more times between then and now.

There’s beauty in that city, even if it’s not in the old buildings, or the view from their balcony. There’s beauty in Japan, too. A different kind of beauty.

The Ferris wheel jolts to a stop when they reach the top, and the carriage wobbles a little. Phil stiffens a little and Dan smiles softly.

“It’s okay,” he says, only half-teasingly, taking Phil’s free hand in his. “I’ve got you.”

Phil smiles brightly.

“I know,” he whispers. He always has.

Dan rolls his eyes then. He knows what sappy bullshit is going on inside Phil’s head, just like he always does. Phil leans in for a kiss anyway and Dan laughs and ghosts his fingers across Phil’s chin. Phil’s not always a sap, but he knows that Dan loves when that side of him comes out.

“You’re a fucking nerd," he tells Phil, but there’s fondness in his voice and Phil grins. Before they start moving again he whips out his phone and tells Dan to take a photo. He’s quick to press a kiss to Dan’s cheek and the photo they end up with captures that shocked, smitten look Phil had melted at before. He presses another kiss to Dan’s cheek, just for the moment, and the carriage begins moving again.

Their hands are linked when they get off the ride. There’s something odd about walking through the crowded area with their fingers intertwined, but it’s what Phil’s always wanted for them. Right now, they’re just another normal couple on a date at the fair. It’s simple, but it’s perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments are appreciated, come scream at me @ panlesters on tumblr


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